Um, Bro – Where’s my order?
‘Alright, alright, breathe son, you’re going to wear yourself out before you even receive your stuff!’
Squadlocker.com prides itself in shipping every order as fast as possible as well as speaking in the third person. Lucky for you, we’re most famous for the former. Most of the product we offer comes from one of our two main warehouses - one in the east and the other on the west coast. However, depending on the assortment of product you select, parts of your order may ship separately, drop shipped directly to your door from the manufacturer. This is mainly to retain that fresh,‘new jockstrap smell’, right out of the box – we pride ourselves in that.
Most non-decorated/blank orders ship within 2-3 business days and custom embellishments generally take an additional 7 – 10. Rome wasn’t built in a day! (But if Squadlocker was around back then, I’m sure we could have done it within the regular turnaround time, negating this dumb saying)
Tracking your package (ha! he said ‘package’)
Tracking information for your package(s) will be made available to you by email within 24 hours of our shipment notification. If you did not receive an email confirmation with tracking, you probably spelled your address wrong (your mother must be proud) but we can get you this and any other information you would like by calling one of our humans at: 1-888-885-6253. You can try to email them at humans@squadlocker.com, but we all know how that went last time…your choice.
How do I cancel, exchange, change or return an item/order?
“In a world…where sizing varies like snowflakes and shipping costs can bankrupt even the richest of oil barrons, immerges a hero who makes returning ill fitting items a breeze…its…SQUADLOCKER!!” Awe, man – I kind of got into it there…a feature length movie focused on the e-tail crime fighting ‘Squadlocker Man’, just imagine.
In truth, the reality is not as farfetched as this may seem. If any of the items you’ve purchased from Squadlocker aren’t exactly as you would like them, you can return or exchange them as long as they aren’t custom decorated and your dog hasn’t chewed them. We’ll send you a prepaid shipping label and get the new product out to you right away, no questions asked. Well…we would ask if your returned items had teeth marks, but short of that, an email to humans@squadlocker.com or a quick phone call to 1-888-885-6253 would do the trick.
Do you offer gift certificates?
Um…are we in the mall? Do you see our employees wearing striped shirts, suspenders and flair? Wait, we actually do offer gift certificates…only instead of the recipient rolling their eyes and saying, ‘great…now I’ve gotta drive to the mall, find parking and wade through the public’ they may actually be glad to have gotten your gift for once. By the way, the smelly used gear you got them last year was a mistake – let them choose...
Why do some items take longer to ship?
Depending on the assortment of product you selected, some items may be drop shipped directly to you from the manufacturer and may take a day or two longer than those shipped from the Squadlocker home warehouse. Don’t worry, tracking will be provided for all shipments and only a single shipping charge will be levied.
Can I customize the shirt I bought?
Absolutely. That’s kind of what we’re all about here at Squadlocker. We’re in this crazy mixed up game of team dealership to make the process, the product, pricing and choices the best in the industry. No yolks.
We spent approximately 1.1 majillion pesos on this awesome website functionality that allows you to fully customize nearly any product on the site in REAL TIME! (the crowd goes wiiillllddd) It allows you to create your own logo using our catalog of stock designs, add text, numbers, personalization, chili, cheese, paper, plastic, whatever you want! (ok, the rest of that list was pilfered from the fine folks at our local convenience store snack counter, but most of that was true!) You can even upload a fully custom logo of your creation – we do the rest.
The customization tools can be found near the product size/color options and all personalization/custom embellishments must be completed before adding the product to your cart. It’s pretty easy actually. Should you have any problems, don’t hesitate to talk to one of our humans by calling 1-888-885-6253 or emailing them at humans@squadlocker.com
What is the largest size you carry?
Squadlocker customers come in a variety of sizes: HUGE, tiny, Moderately huge, youth, adult, grande, venti, toddler, compact, metric, standard, mondo (remember rollerblades? When did they stop being cool and why wasn’t I told?) If our customers have this range, we should offer a similarly robust offering of sizing. Most products are XS – XXL, but we carry a decent selection of garments, both men and women that are sized up to XXXXXXL. By the way, there’s no upcharge for large sizes – we heard you barking big dog.
Why can’t I find my size?
All available sizes for the item of your choice are shown in bold, while those that are either unavailable, discontinued or backordered will be grey and not selectable. Should you find yourself up at night, staring misty eyed at the product of your dreams, flaunting herself to all other sizes, while yours is unavailable, help yourself out and give us a call or an email. We’ll let you know when that fickle minx plans on showing up. By the way, I would keep your strange obsession with our website to yourself…kinda creepy.
How do I know whether my customized product will come embroidered or screen printed?
You don’t – we do! Our highly trained production and art staff will make the determination for you on what the classiest looking; highest quality embellishment method is for your item of choice. We take into account color fastness, stretch ability, location and overall performance before making any decoration choices. Heck, we think about this stuff before getting out of bed in the morning. You provide the creativity, we provide the knowhow. Trust us, it’s going to come out great.
I have questions and ideas for decoration that aren’t addressed on your website, but I know you can do it – you guys are the best.
Awe, shucks - You really know how to make a website blush. You seem like a nice customer, I’ll give you my number and email and anytime you want, give me a call and we can discuss your big ideas. 1-888-885-6253 orhumans@squadlocker.com .
There isn’t anything we can’t do!
Love,
Squadlocker.com
XOXO